Manhattan Schist

It's trying to say I'm boring

2009-11-11T05:46:04Z

I am the sonnet, never quickly thrilled;
Not prone to overstated gushing praise
Nor yet to seething rants and anger, filled
With overstretched opinions to rephrase;
But on the other hand, not fond of fools,
And thus, not fond of people, on the whole;
And holding to the sound and useful rules,
Not those that seek unjustified control.
I'm balanced, measured, sensible (at least,
I think I am, and usually I'm right);
And when more ostentatious types have ceased,
I'm still around, and doing, still, alright.
In short, I'm calm and rational and stable -
Or, well, I am, as much as I am able.

What Poetry Form Are You?

(If you were not a Sonnet you would be Heroic Couplets.)

I am heroic couplets; most precise
And fond of order. Planned and structured. Nice.
I know, of course, just what I want; I know,
As well, what I will do to make it so.
This doesn't mean that I attempt to shun
Excitement, entertainment, pleasure, fun;
But they must keep their place, like all the rest;
They might be good, but ordered life is best.

What Poetry Form Are You?

Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?

2009-11-11T05:08:13Z

Okay, this video is made of WIN *AND* AWESOMESAUCE. IT IS WINSOMESAUCE.

I'm all about el Día de los muertos

2009-10-31T20:06:43Z

I was on the train and the announcement came that it would run over a different line because of problems at the next station. Almost immediately a bunch of people pulled out their iPhones and opened their NYC subway app or whatever the hell it is they do, anxiously stretching and pulling the map to find an appropriate transfer point until they did, and looked relaxed again.

Me, I used my brain. I guess most people haven't memorized the subway map. (Or haven't had nearly fifteen years to do so.)

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

2009-10-11T03:18:43Z

I received a special Columbus Day offer in my e-mail. Suffice it to say, it could've worked a bit better with a few additional words. So, I decided to take out some words for my enjoyment. Woot, Columbus Day enjoyment!

Want to redeem in-store instead?

It's kind of amazing how little I changed (excepting the photo), all in Paint, to convey the hobo giveaway, which is absurd. We all know hobos don't even stay in one place, so what's the point of getting a free one anyway?

(The original e-mail, with link to original coupon, to compare.)

BLAH BLAH BLAH

2009-09-28T06:16:40Z

RE: this entry.

Here it is.

Edit: And it's got me wondering... why that photo? I would've picked the stuffed dragon photo over the stuffed elephants photo. Although maybe they didn't want the photo whose description had a link to a review of dragon porn.

Dick

2009-09-27T20:37:43Z

Man, I feel kinda bad about David Starzyk. Every time I see him, I yell out (quietly), "BIG DICK!" He was also Brian Porter on Lost, but the name's not as catchy.

So he's on Prison Break: Brokener*, apparently. Going back to watch.

*It's actually Final Break, but potato, potato.

CaryGrantCaryGrantCaryGrant

2009-09-18T02:46:09Z

Cary Grant

Lol...

2009-09-17T02:56:41Z

Lol, my photo's been "short-listed for inclusion in the eighth edition of [the] Schmap New York Guide." I don't know why it makes me giggle. Also, they spelt FAO Schwarz wrong. I am angry on behalf of FAO Schwarz!

Also, as I was uploading the above pic:

Haha wtf and wtf are you feeding your kids?

The machines send a message to the company and they celebrate good times every time they make a sale

2009-09-08T16:52:08Z

Are self-checkout machines intuitively simple to figure out? Hover the barcode over the laser beams and when it beeps, place the now-scanned item on the bagging area (which, I’m guessing, doubles as a scale). Easy, no?

I saw a woman scan a notebook and then held onto it. The machine told her to place the item in the bag, so she put it in her own bag. Obviously, the machine wouldn’t let her scan anymore items and kept telling her to put the item in the bag. She was confused, and alternated between grabbing for the scanned item and scanning her new items. Finally, the machine gave up and told her assistance was on the way. The employee, as far as I could tell (from the motions and scant words I could hear from where I stood in the checkout line), explained to her that she shouldn't remove the items from the platform.

Admittedly, the very first time I used these machines, I took a full bag off the platform to make some room for a new bag. However, the machine went nuts and said, “OMG PUT THE ITEMS IN THE BAG YOU ARE A THIEF!!” I put them back quickly and it resumed normal function. I quickly surmised these machines must be weighing the items after the scanning to deter theft. Genius! Unlike some humans…

Maybe she had a brain fart because she's an anxious technophobe who was fearfully shaking in her boots in her encounter with a seemingly autonomous machine? RISE, MACHINES!!!! ATTACK!!!!!!!

Oh and there’s actually a Wiki page on self checkout, and it just confirmed my beliefs (about the bag area doubling as a scale). Huzzah for confirmation!

lol WAT

2009-08-31T00:55:48Z

Shut up

2009-08-29T17:17:26Z

I hate questions like these... it's one thing to call a guilty pleasure a guilty pleasure, why add the statement, "What do you do but don't tell anyone you do?" Any question/meme that asks you to reveal something you've never revealed before riles me up because IF YOU DIDN'T REVEAL IT BEFORE, WHY NOW?? Sure, you're protected by the "anonymity" of the internet, but who is going to choose to admit something they chose not to admit before purely because the internet told them to? (Sadly, I think many.)

And how does a guilty pleasure TV show warrant secrecy? My guilty pleasure show is Gossip Girl, ZOMG but I've told a bunch of people I watch it, what should I pick now?????

Simpsons 12th season DVD set

2009-08-25T23:11:48Z

Why are the DVD season sets of The Simpsons getting progressively more difficult to actually open... you think the Simpson heads were difficult and convoluted, well, at least you could get them open. I just got the 12th season set with the Comic Book Guy's stupid 3-D mug and it WON'T EVEN COME OUT.

Okay, it's out now, but still, what kind of product makes it so difficult for the customer to actually get TO the product? Did they have to make CBG face that projected, taking up all the possible free space in the plastic sleeve? BTW, COMIC BOOK GUY?? This guy didn't even have a NAME until like last year. He's a funny character and all, but COME ON. I could think of a bunch of other supporting characters who are much more deserving of the 12th season cover. (Maybe 20th but 12th??)

And what's all this business with the heads, anyway? I like the first five seasons' box sets just fine, then they had to showcase the heads and faces. Uggggggggggggh whatever.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT

2009-08-19T01:57:40Z

What a stupid thing to mull over... the regular Lost S5 set or the Lost S5 Dharma Initiation Kit? Originally I thought, "But it won't match my other seasons!" But this had to show up again and it just looks so awesome... but there will probably be a complete series set after it's all done, in even MORE awesome packaging, once again making me and my individual-season collecting self (yes, two different people) look like the puny little girly-men we are destined to be.

Ethan Rom is alive!

2009-08-08T00:34:47Z

Okay... I'm 99% sure I saw William Mapother on the R train today. He got on with a female companion like around Lawrence St or Dekalb station, through the door that was right in front of me. The very first thing I thought was, "Oh hey, that looks like William Mapother." So I tried to check him out again after he sat down and this time he really looked like William Mapother; he has a very distinctive face and it just looked too much like him to be a lookalike.

He got off at Whitehall just like me; it kinda looked like I was stalking him since he surged ahead with his friend/accomplice/whoever, and I kept looking at him to see if there was any defect in him that proved it wasn't William Mapother.

So we all ended up in the Staten Island Ferry terminal because my group and I had to pee and they apparently wanted to check out the produce they've set up there (weirdest location for Farmers' Market I've seen so far), oh and probably take the ferry. As I was walking by I finally heard his voice and then I thought, "Oh wow, that really does sound like him, doesn't it?"

Sooo celebrities I've seen/met in an unplanned setting (not concert, autograph signing, etc.):
- Celine Dion (she was leaving her hotel)
- Don Philip (okay I met him at an autograph signing, but I didn't plan to go to it!)
- Reba McEntire (she was leaving her hotel, too)
- William Mapother (subway)

Which one of these is not like the other?

BTW, I was going to the Governors Island ferry, to take advantage of the free hour of bike rental they offer, just like everyone else on that boat, apparently. I'M ON A BOAT MUTHAFUCKA DON'T YOU EVER FORGET.

...

2009-07-27T19:00:51Z

This is not a shirt, this is an internet meme. It was so "popular" they pulled it from scoring before the requisite 7 days was up so they could print it. Whatever.

(Although, kudos to Threadless for the brilliant business move! Very savvy.)

'Clash of the Titans' scared the shiznit out of me...

2009-07-22T03:16:36Z

...when I was a child.</p>

I must have been about eight or nine? And it wasn't Harry Hamlin that scared me. It was Medusa! Freaked me the fuck out!

We were first learning about Greek mythology in school, and I totally thought it was all real, before Christianity set me on the monotheistic path (huhWHUT???). So it so happened that Clash of the Titans was showing on television around that time and there I was watching the movie home alone with only my blanket to hold onto and suddenly it seems like Medusa comes crawling out like an animatronic slug with glowing yellow eyes and hair worse than mine. I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped simply watching Medusa on TV wouldn't turn me to stone!

When I saw the movie again in my teens, I was like, "Wow, what was I so scared of?? Also, that owl's fucking annoying."

Uh-oh?

2009-07-03T05:42:39Z

Oh my, did I conduct a faux pas? I didn't recognize a congresswoman. Well, to be fair, she's not my congresswoman. Apart from my congresswoman, and a few other names within NY, I can't be expected to know all 435 U.S. Representatives, can I? CAN I?

I didn't find out until after I met her and she had left. Other than her well-done makeup, she was unassuming and dressed non-representatively. Although the Great Seal of the U.S.-emblazoned folder should've gave it away...

Also great seals

Hehe, Weiner.

How is it "almost" paradise? Isn't it just regular dise?

2009-06-24T05:26:08Z

I don't know why I'm so hung up on T-Max, they're not all that special. (Actually, their voices are hell of good, but otherwise, meh.) Uhmmmmm probably because Kim Joon/Prince Song is a smokin' babe.

Anyway, I found a video that FURTHER illustrates his (I don't even know their names... one of them is Minchul and the other is Yunhwa I think) zombie jik mut yun-ness from the previous entry. Why am I so hung up on that?

Here are the video again just to put them all in one place, which is probably only beneficial to me.

The original Paradise, in all his awkward zombie glory.

The song is the same, but they have random guys dancing all around now, with the singers doing the occasional arm extension and twirl, and some heavy-duty walking.

The final stage; he can be a not-robot in public now.

UN!COMFORTABLE!

2009-06-21T02:57:31Z

Oh boy. I'd already posted the first one, cyber-laughing at their clearly distinctive performances. I checked out the second video because zomg, Kim Joon finally performing WITH his group (but it's not Paradise :C) and it's major lulz again. Look at the difference between the two:

Or check out the diluted performances in screencaps, which each really speaks a thousand words:

Before

After
I think management figured they shouldn't unleash the dude as a zombie jik mut yun in public, so they gave them some choreography. All the wrong ones, that is. Why do they keep opening up their vests and pointing to their pits? Both of them? That's not where their hearts are, unless I seriously need to brush up on my knowledge of the human body.

I really hate extraneous choreography, but whatever. More laughs for me! It's good for laughing muscles.

Other random things:
- KIM JOON!!!!!!!!
- Are jodhpurs in now? I need something to hide my big ol' thighs. Or is it only for the dudes? Perfect!
- I think it's the dance version (hence the dancing). I like the ballad version better... which is basically the same song but slower.
- PRINCE SONG!!!!!
- Oh yeah, will Kim Joon ever sing again in a T-Max song again? I love his voice; it's like molasses.

TO THE TIME MACHINE-AH!!

2009-06-14T19:56:40Z

You will be the Falcon... and I will remain... THE FALCONER!

Haha this is probably the best Falconer skit ever:

Love Will Forte! But why does Hulu/NBC cut off the beginning and ends of some of the clips? Sadface:((((((((((

Move along

2009-06-08T00:28:33Z

For the first time in a long time, I think my right eyebrow looks better than my left, because it looks thicker, which means my right eyebrow grows faster than my left. (I'm trying to grow out my eyebrows.)

Body, why haven't you heard of equality?
My left foot is bigger than my right.
My left eyelid is more prominent than my right.
The facial muscles of my right are more powerful than my left.
And more body parts I'm not gonna mention!

Shipping items relaxes me

2009-05-31T01:57:09Z

I finally reused all my old boxes and envelopes to the point where I need to actually go out to buy new envelopes. @.@ Still got some left, but are incompatible with my needs at this point.

Yay reusing! But I always wonder what the hell my customers do with their used-up, ratty packages. Oh wait, I can bring over my roll of kraft paper I forgot to bring, so I don't actually need to buy envelopes. But it does take extra time to wrap it all up and crap.

Geh?

2009-05-29T03:08:41Z

Hey bbs, didn't there used to be some kind of "nudge" button on LJ? Or am I imagining things, in that it was never there, or it is still there and I am imagining that it's not?

Do not want!

2009-05-23T06:01:17Z

Uhm, I'm not sure why I signed up for LoudTwitter. Why do I always start with that line? "I'm not sure why..." Maybe it helps clear my head, now I know exactly why. I wanted it to go to Xanga specifically, but it doesn't work because they (LoudTwitter) only work with Atom (which I didn't find out until after I signed on), despite it not being as popular as RSS, yet has more features, I think?

So it doesn't work on Xanga, which is what I wanted originally. Tried it on Tumblr, but it's not formatted well because essentially, I am sending an e-mail to Tumblr instead of using the Atom protocol or something. Slightly better on LJ (since it and TypePad work the best with it), but turns out I'll pretty much have to come out to edit the entries everyday to suit my liking, which kinda defeats the purpose of Twitter for me, which is basically a platform where I can do all my weird oneliners that have no context (like I used to do here), so I don't have to spend time tagging the entry appropriately and coming up with a title, which I really don't like to do and almost always turns out to be a song I'm listening to at the moment or a line on TV.

You know what, it probably wouldn't have worked out on Xanga anyway, since I don't "tweet" nearly enough to justify one whole entry per day. Everything should just have an isolationist policy like America wanted in both World Wars and look how that turned out.

And why do I like run-on sentences?

Daily Round-up

2009-05-22T04:17:10Z

00:54 started watching #Fringe last year, but fell way behind. Now tryna catch up; just saw 1.15 and I believe my exact reaction was: HOLY CRAP #

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